This touching letter was written by Ireland-based Nigerian, late Mrs.Omodolapo Yetunde Jagha(Nee Olotu) also known as Dolapo GoodGod who was buried in Ireland few weeks ago.
I bid you farewell…
I am grateful to God that I will rest in His bosom and I am more grateful because I have always wanted this opportunity to speak my mind even unto death. I guess you are surprised that even the dead can air an opinion; in my case I really wanted to because I knew that God was preparing a place for me and that is where I will be.
Do not weep for so long because I found eternal peace in Him. The very peace that has eroded me in about twelve years of my God given years (at the time of this writing I am forty-one years of age and I have been married for twelve years).
This is my story………
I am
Yetunde nee Olotu as I am fondly called by my immediate family
in Nigeria but here I am being referred to as Omodolapo Jagha as named
by the love of my life. Now, I am Dolapo GoodGod , the surname I
adopted when I realized that I no longer have a husband who will be
there for me. The very man I should expect to be the Master of ceremony
at my burial, the man you think would miss my departure the most but
unfortunately not. I believe my estranged husband is glad that he is now
free from the bondage called marriage.
Noble
Jagha, I hope you feel so happy now that your prophesy to Maryam Hassan
and other girlfriends of yours that I will soon die so you can marry
them is now fulfilled. The truth is that my body may be dead but my hope
of glory in heaven is constant as God lives. I may not be here again
but I am so sure you will never find anyone to love you the way I did.
You
were my first love, the very man who deflowered me but turned his back
on me years after that I was not good on bed (not sexy enough for you),
I was not good at cooking but I managed to learn and cook your local
meal of Starch and Banga. He said, “I was so paranoid” because I
complained that you are only comfortable making phone calls in the car
and returning home at midnight.
You finally
abandoned me and the children in December, 2012 after all the mental and
physical abuse I suffered from you. You could not face the wrath of law
as I got a safety and protection order against you because I was afraid
that you would eventually take my life. While you lived with us, you
were of no use, as you were not readily available to do your matrimonial
and fatherly duties.
How painful it was to take
the twins to school walking all the way from Ongar to Little Pace,
sometimes after getting a chemo. Even when I pleaded with you to look
after the kids when I have appointments at the hospital you refused.
Thank God for the Irish government (HSE) that provided me with home help
(Margaret), my cousin, grandma Odelade, Sola and S. Bimbo (my
wonderful sisters in church), my friend, confidant (Gbemi) who stuck
to me like a sister, she is known in all our kids’ school as their
guardian because you were not there.
You found
solace in your numerous, “your attraction” as you referred to the choir
leader and probably your new sizzling romance Sheila Luxembor whom you
kept my kids with without my consent. I hope she told you I rang her and
made peace with her when I did no wrong (Yeah, I did this to secure my
heaven). Hhhhmmmm..the Lord is my strength.
Oti,
how do you feel after physically and mentally tormenting me? You can
now be happy that “the living corpse” (as you often referred to me) in
your home has finally gone to be with God. You no longer have to hit me
or pounce on me anymore.
In death I have forgiving
you because I loved you but I hope you are able to forgive yourself…….?
I cannot forget in a minute how I felt so let down that I took to my
heels and sought refuge in that sister’s place and later on at the
women’s refuge. I am sure your defense is that I died as a cancer
patient but I believe I could live a day longer if you were there for
me…… I went through the pains of Cancer lonely! Rather than supporting,
you rejected me.
Isn’t marriage meant to be for
better or for worse.….? I hope when I remember how childish you were for
taking the boot you bought for me and returning the wrist watch I
bought for you I can peacefully sigh a relief for leaving this cruel
world.
You were so mean to me! Oti, you were
really mean to Emmanuella too. How could you ill-treat your own children
because they are girls? I have all the horrible text messages you sent
to me documented; psychologically you killed me before my death.
Pastor
Jagha, a man of God! The church has failed in their duty to help you
from fallen, they have pampered you for doing wrong in order to save
their face and invariably they have failed me. Church is meant for
sinners irrespective of their position and as such no one should be
above chastising.
I hope after my demise our
father in the Lord would have enough evidence to correct the wrong of my
beloved husband. No wonder my so-called husband was able to trick the
church who also lured me to take off the safety and protection order and
stop me from getting a separation that I so long for.
On
my dying bed I made copies of telephone bills showing his immoral
communication with a worker in the church at Athlone but there was
still no sufficient evidence.
The church that
should be a place of refuge became a place of torment for me. I hope you
can also enjoy your new relationship with Sheila, I learnt you told
some of your church members that I asked her to look after my kids
because I was sick in the hospital whereas she keeps malice with me
just because of your sex romp with her. Oti, you left my children at
home for two days and went to sleep with your girl friend in Athlone.
You also asked my under-aged children to travel on bus to Athlone by
themselves while I was on the hospital bed. I loved you but you failed
me and you know it.
The bitter pill that I have
to swallow is the fact that I can no longer be there for my lovely girls
.Their beloved father despised them so because I could not make a male
child (you claimed that I was unable to have a boy child because I did
not drink from the anointing oil which you asked me to drink and that
makes you detest me too). I am deeply sorry that I did not drink it;
maybe that would have spared me of some lashes.
Our
lovely first daughter at age twelve said, “Mummy I don’t think I will
get married” This is as a result of the abuse that my child suffered
from our marriage. If you are a loved one and you know my daughter,
please help me say to her that marriage is to be enjoyed and not
endured. I want her to be married and make me proud!
Oti,
why do you always run away from your problems rather than resolving
them? You left Nigeria because of your involvement in fraud at the bank
which you never resolved. As I speak you owe my mother a sum of one
million, two hundred thousand naira which you have no plan to
repay. How come you had issues even with your own sibling in the U.K to
such an extent that you poisoned her? That is the more reason why I
was so scared for my life.
You are such a
difficult person, the community welfare officer , our GP, Olive at
Hartstown , the Child protection unit at Finglas and our father in the
Lord tried their best to advise you to no avail. You were not ready to
make me happy.
Noble Jagha, you wanted me dead
as soon as possible. I still wonder why you refused to come with me for
separation times and again when I asked that we should part ways. I
know your intent may be to make gains from my years of labour at Anpost.
I worked so hard to pay the rent, to feed us and even paid some of your
fees to pursue your MBA.
Despite all my effort
you were never satisfied, even on my sick bed you demanded for money. I
hope you are happy that you have them all and you can feed your numerous
girlfriends with them.
I plead with you and I
besiege all that reads this to appeal to you that you do the following
after my demise which is of utmost importance (I hope you will heed
advice for once).
1. That you may put in
trust/fixed deposit for my daughters all monies raised from my burial
and benefits from my workplace having paid all expenses incurred and
other personal loan taking from my friends during my period of illness.
My daughters need to know I care for them even in my grave.
2. That,
I have a will in which I have named the executors to my will and joint
custodians of our children. The lawyer will keep you posted in due
course, please adhere!
3. Oti you can also pay any money that you owe from the monies before the account is opened.
4. Kindly pay my mother the money you owe her too before the account is fixed.
5. I want my mother to be a part of my children’s life, please don’t deprive her.
6. Oti make peace with my family and friends (stop making enemies out of the people that helps me).
Oti,
it may surprise you but I have to let you know that I have the password
to your facebook account and email accounts! How come I am not on your
friend list? Why did you also refuse to tell me the cause of your
mother’s death? I know she died of cancer! Hmmmm
Oti does not love me; he could not stay with me in sickness despite the fact that I loved him more than my children. Hhmmmm
I
hope my mother can forgive me for not heeding her advice in respect of
my choice of marriage and I pray that God gives her and my father the
fortitude to bear this irreparable lost.
It is too late to cry when the head is off.
Thank
you for not leaving me alone in my time of troubles and needs my
sisters, thank you sister for going to Olive’s school, please follow up
with Emmanuel as planned, I don’t want my children to suffer. I am so
worried. I am tired. I don’t want you people to go, don’t leave me
alone. I want someone to sleep here with me tonight.
signed.
Omodolapo GoodGod
27/04/2013.