Ever since I can remember, I have always admired my parents. Even in their old age, I still see them holding hands every day. As a young lad in the early 50s, I saw dad and mum dance a lot, as if they were rehearsing for a dance competition. They argued a lot and laughed a lot, I just couldn't tell anymore when they were quarrelling or playing. There was a lot of love in my family, for a long time, my folks were like two teenagers in love, there was so much kissing between them that I came to accept that as a show of love and wanted to kiss every girl I fancied. They loved to entertain, so we continuously had guest come over. I grew up believing that every day was some ‘kinda’ celebration. Some of the things that molded me were not only my father’s regimental training and how he was always quick with the cane, but his love for my mum also had a great impart on me. This is the setting, the background of love I am coming from, my pedigree, my rich heritage. It is my pride.
All
the years I lived with my folks, I rebelled against everything, eating
on the table with my family, doing my homework when I should, doing my
chores in the house etc. I was a handful and oh, so troublesome. All my
siblings wanted to be in my dad's good book, but I was the renegade. For
some reason I always got into trouble, and my father would whip the
living daylight outta me. I concluded he was wicked, overbearing, hash
brash and insensitive. While I was still in elementary school, he would
make me memorize all of Shakespeare's work, heavy flogging would follow
if I forgot my lines. Oh! The man was obnoxious or so I thought. Kai!
Because of him, I hated school till I left to America, he made learning
frightening. Every morning we would go to morning mass, you better be
ready, I had so much religion that I wanted to be a Priest. As Catholics
I went regularly to confessions, catechism, I was even an altar boy.
He reminded me every blessed day of who I am and how I must protect the
"OPUTA" name, a good name is better than gold, he would always say.
Our house was like the court room, he was the judge and jury, and I
never won a case. I was raised on an overdose of integrity, morality,
honesty and to always take responsibility for my fuckups. He ran our
home like a military barracks. Na wa. Even though I was such a big
rascal, those values became ingrained in my medulla.
When
I started molding the character we all know as Charlyboy, he finally
blew a fuse. He was scandalized, and he warned me that nobody would
understand. He said I was too outlandish, that I was ‘living’ way
before my time, as if I didn't know that from the day I was born. He
wanted me to have a respectable job and a secured financial future, but
that wasn't to be. That was when I decided I would never live under
anyone's shadow, and the main reason I didn't do Law like he would have
wanted. For the first 15yrs out of the 32yrs of being Charlyboy we
hardly talked to each other. I disliked my father; there was nothing I
did that was good enough for him. However I went my own way taking
charge of my life and doing my own thing without interference, but ever
so determined to succeed. But guess what, the more I got popular, the
more I did so many positive things with the youths, the more I was
secretly admired and amazingly respected for my tenacity, focus,
consistency, enhancing my environment, my never say die attitude and
above all my love and service to humanity. Since we made up some 25yrs
ago his respect for me has kept rising. The first time my father told me
he was proud of me some 25yrs ago I almost fell off my seat; I didn't
believe what I was hearing. Oh boy, those were the sweetest words my
father said to me, from then I never looked back. Sometimes, noble
fathers have noble children. Like I would always ask, can an apple fall
too far from its tree?
Over
two and a half decades ago I have come to build such an unusual bond
with my father. Unusual because it is not often you see male children
taking care of their parents the way I take care of my parents. My
parents are like my babies, and I love them no be small, also I’m very
protective of them and care for them, it is one of my obligations that
has continued to make me feel ever so useful. For the past 9yrs my
parents have been living with me, I have learned to be patient. My
fathers famous quote still remains my best amongst the many I often
heard him say, "old age is a disease no doctor can cure". Just so they
don't get bored, we regularly plan events for them, we take them to
different shows, musicals, comedy shows, cinemas, parks. I even walk my
pops some evenings. I guess I am paying restitution for all my sins as a
wayward teenager and all the heart aches I caused them (I don’t see it
as a task though), Kai! Dem see pepper for my hand sha, because I spoil
from belle.
My
father taught me respect for self, to be a person of value, from him I
learnt how to work and stay devoted to my marriage. It has not been easy
but I have managed for 37yrs. Mine won’t be different cause my father
has lived with my Mum who is still alive for over 65yrs, wow! He taught
me the art of contentment and to always be grateful. Many times I am
asked who my real heroes are, or those that inspire me, until 5yrs ago
it never dawned on me that besides all the other persons who may have
inspired me, like Baba Fela and co, my dad has always been my number
one. When I think of my dad, I am thankful for how his guidance and
teachings enriched my life, he molded me well. Thank God.
