I dated Charles for a few years before I proposed to him to marry me, else I would leave.
He was getting too comfortable with just dating me because marriage wasn’t really on his mind. You know, he hasn’t been lucky in that department.
During my first visit to Nigeria, I met his wonderful family and it was clear he was coming from a very strict Christian background.
His family was a very spiritual one with high sense of morality and values, there was no way some of that wouldn’t have robbed off on Charles. I just fell in love with him and his close nit family. Since then, they have been ever so kind and loving to me.
I just thank God.
Charly boy recently expressed his love to his wife.
What was the thing that attracted you to him when you first met him?
People say there is a whole lot of difference between courting and marriage; did you experience that in yours?
His
uniqueness of course, and the fact that he is a gentle man, very
sensitive, passionate, loving and a giving person. I must also add
intriguing and adventurous because that was the first thing I noticed
about him.
If
people are saying that, then they are sure right. There is a big
difference between courting and marriage. As boyfriend and girlfriend,
you don’t have much responsibilities, you stay just focused on each
other.
After
marriage comes a lot of responsibilities, children, in-laws, income,
bills and a lot more. Marriage is a time to take charge and be serious,
it is no longer a play thing. But if you have managed to be friends
during courtship years, it makes the journey a bit easy. Courtship is
playful, marriage is serious business. That is just the simple truth.
Has your trust for him ever wobbled, like maybe he is unfaithful?
As
entertainers at the early stages, it wasn’t easy but as time passed by I
began to see things for what they really are. Because we are always in
the limelight, we attract all sorts of people, but experience will
always teach us how to deal with things. Charles is not lacking in that
area. Well, my trust for him may have wobbled in our first few years but
I have long since figured out where his mind, soul and head is and I am
comfortable with that knowledge.
Have you ever feared he will leave you considering his history?
I
have been most lucky in all of this, considering that I am coming from
miles away, no brothers, no sisters, no family, except the Oputas and
my friend Charles who sometimes fills in as a the brother I never had.
Yes, it could be scary sometimes, but for some reasons those thoughts
never took over my mind.
You have been together for thirty-six years, is there any secret behind this bond?
Charles
is my best friend, our friendship came before marriage. I sure don’t
have all the answers. What even works for me may not work for you, but
what I do know is that, we are two individuals determined to make our
relationship work. We talk a lot in our marriage, Charles is the first
to say sorry when he goofs. He is so sensitive when it comes to my
feelings, but above all, I think we are just two very good friends who
have refused to grow up and who have sworn to watch out for one another.
Be sincere, have you ever woken up and felt you were done with the whole thing? Don’t you get tired and bored sometimes?
Being
fulfilled in one’s marriage is guaranteed when your spouse is
supportive, understanding, and sensitive to your feeling, always looking
for creative ways to keep the spark in the marriage. I will just say
that I am lucky and I thank God for that. No regrets.
Is there still romance in your relationship? Does your husband still look at you the way he did thirty six years ago?
Charles
is an unrepentant romantic person, even though he hides that part of
himself from public. He knows that I love romance and often makes the
plan for such rendezvous. Being married for over three decades can
become boring if you don’t work at it. We sure work at it because for
us, this is it. That is why we try to keep it as youthful and fresh as
we can. It is not easy but we are determined.
Has anything changed in the last thirty-six years?
Life
is always changing, nothing stays the same. We inspire growth in our
relationship. He is like a fine wine, tasteful with age.
